Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Just making sure y'all are paying attention

An astounding discovery of cosmic proportions has been made in the wake of the horrific Asian tsunami that has killed more than 150,000 men, women and children.

Weekly World News has learned from a respected scientific source that rescuers searching for survivors of the December 26 monster wave stumbled across a UFO half buried in the beach on Hong Island, a remote isle off the coast of Thailand.

Thai officials have desperately tried to hush up the staggering find, but WWN has managed to obtain top-secret photos of the craft, which measures 90 feet across, and its insides taken by Thai solders and other officials probing the discovery.

The source tells WWN that the drowned corpses of two space alien astronauts were found in the saucer-shaped craft's cockpit. Even more incredible, a human abductee -- a Missoula, Mont., woman missing since October 31 -- was found strapped to an examination table in a water-tight chamber. The source says she was naked, babbling incoherently and was possibly a guinea pig for ghoulish experiments.

"The human survivor, identified as 27-year-old Wendy Carpsdale, has been airlifted to a medical facility in Bangkok," reveals Dr. Robert Wilton, a leading Australian physicist with high-level contacts in the Thai scientific community.

"She has thus far been unable to recall anything about either her abduction ordeal or the craft's disastrous encounter with the massive tidal wave.

"She is in good health under the circumstances, although the presence of numerous probing devices in the exam chamber suggest her bodily orifices were subjected to rigorous scientific study and possible experimentation."

The Thai government, which has seized the UFO, has imposed a total news blackout, with information ministry officials refusing to confirm any aspect of the sensational story.

But scientific sources who believe the earthshaking discovery must be shared with the whole world leaked the news along with dazzling photographs to Dr. Wilton, who passed them on exclusively to Weekly World News.

"The creatures found in the cockpit are classic 'gray-type' aliens with bulbous heads, elongated limbs and two belly buttons," says the scientist, well known for his balanced writings about the possibility of extraterrestrial life.

"Clearly, they are not of this Earth." The 90-foot-in-diameter craft was discovered January 6 on Koh Lao La Ding beach by a helicopter crew searching for survivors. "Hong Island is uninhabited," explains Dr. Wilton. "Hunting for survivors there wasn't a big priority -- the initial focus was on more densely populated areas. That's why the saucer lay in the sand for days before it was spotted."

Experts aren't sure how the craft ended up in the water and on the beach. Thai scientists suspect the UFO was flying low to avoid radar, when it was unexpectedly struck by the tidal wave.

Dr. Wilton doubts that theory.
"I believe this craft is a submersible" he explains. "This vehicle was almost certainly traveling beneath the surface when the tsunami struck."

It took investigators six hours to penetrate the hull of the saucer using powerful, industrial-grade lasers.

"It is made of an unknown metal alloy many times stronger than titanium," according to classified notes leaked to Dr. Wilton. Initial findings indicate they drowned.

"The cockpit window had been breached and a preliminary autopsy found they had water in their lungs," says Dr. Wilton. "Luckily, the human abductee was in a watertight laboratory or she, too, would have drowned.

"The girl was frightened and woozy. She kept moaning, 'Keep your filthy little gray hands off me.'"

A data base on missing people kept by a UFO group identified her.

"She turned out to be a Montana schoolteacher who vanished on her way to a Halloween party," says Dr. Wilton. "Her clothes, including the Martha Stewart mask she was wearing at the time, were found neatly folded in a cubbyhole."

Other amazing discoveries reportedly found inside the saucer include:

*A ray gun capable of vaporizing a boulder the size of an African elephant.
*A food synthesizer able to replicate any food.
*A McDonald's Happy Meal.
*Some sort of transporter capable of "beaming" living creatures.

Posted By: feux rdelephant